MELODY SPAGHETTI

Adorable!

2009-05-15T19:25:00.000-04:00

This is a steal.

2009-05-15T19:00:00.000-04:00

Fill the frame.

2009-05-15T18:57:00.002-04:00

What's got two thumbs and is a total asshole?

2009-05-14T13:20:00.002-04:00

Cliffhanger.

2009-05-14T13:11:00.003-04:00

Former Cheers star John Ratzenberger has filed for a restraining order against his ex-girlfriend - because he is scared she will turn violent after listening to country music.
The actor, who played Cliff Clavin in the beloved sitcom, filed documents at Los Angeles Superior Court claiming his 45-year-old ex had made "harassing and intimidating phone calls, emails and text messages" to him and his family and friends.
And bizarrely, Ratzenberger claims his former partner "indicated that it is common in many country western songs for women to set the cars of their former boyfriends on fire" and is scared she "may have the capacity to perpetuate this act or similar violent conduct."
Ratzenberger has requested for the judge to order the woman targetted in the suit to stay at least 100 yards away from him if she is not willing to buy him beer.

"think outside the box"

2009-01-31T15:41:00.015-05:00

"Hey...did you ride the long bus or the short bus with the camper enhancement when you were a kid?"

2009-01-26T21:19:00.001-05:00

2009-01-24T12:43:00.000-05:00

Renewed faith in the young.

2009-01-24T12:10:00.005-05:00

2009-01-20T20:34:00.001-05:00

"Like trying to vomit up a cannonball"

2009-01-20T20:18:00.004-05:00

Let me tell you about this great chick I know. She's really nice and sweet and super smart and has a great sense of humor. She just loves sex and she cooks and cleans like a professional. She's great, right? Oh ya, by the way, she's 6' 9,” weighs 600 pounds and has got a wonderful case of severe acne and lovely greasy hair. Don't look at that one eye either...it's dead.Her tragic breasts look like empty hot water bottles and her teeth are a beautiful battleship gray. Hook 'em and keep hookin' 'em! The coprporation cannot help but sell.The Bush era.

Where does one begin? "My Pet Goat"? Abu Ghraib? Ahmed Chalabi? Mission Accomplished? The "Battle of Iraq?" Valerie Plame? No-bid contracts? The billions of dollars the Pentagon can't account for, and apparently never will? The Department of Justice firings? The blue Iraqi flag? The staged press conference? The fake Thanksgiving turkey? Terry Schiavo? Freedom Fries? Katrina?

Why not just plant WMDs in Iraq?

But really, Bush himself wasn't the problem. Bush was a cipher, the perfect vacuum at the center of a perfect storm -- an ideological superstorm which rotated, like some slow, sick, wobbling hurricane of raw sewage over America, brown and shitty! This Neo-Conservative Superstorm had three major sources of energy feeding it:

a) a panicked population in need of a Protective Patriarch,

b) a Republican party crowded with brazen and reckless ideologues,

and most significantly:

c) A network of Conservative Think Tanks with deep pockets and a fearsomely coordinated army of media pundits.

As for the first two factors: I'll leave the question open as to how so many Americans could be so gullible, or how so many elected officials got it into their heads that they were entitled to do WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY WANTED simply because they belonged to God's Own Party. Stampede voters and the thieving motherfuckers who prey on them have always been with us. Nothing new.

What is new and unique about these past 8 years was the rise of the Conservative Think Tanks. To explain who they are, how they operate, and what kind of mischief they've caused.
Think of the Conservative Think Tank system as a parody of the university system; a network of "institutes" all founded to support an ideology, whose "scholars" write "reports" and conduct "studies" which surprise! -- all re-affirm the correctness of their institute's ideological premise.

What do Think Tanks primarily produce? Policy. And who are their clients? Government officials (but even here the distinction blurs, as think tank "fellows" are often appointed to cabinet or advisor positions while elected officials are often groomed and funded by Think Tanks from the beginning of their political career.) The invasion of Iraq, to take an example, was crafted by Project for a New American Century in 1998. These policies are supported by the Think Tanks' own "reports" and "studies" whose footnotes, on careful observation, reference studies by other, motivated Conservative Think Tanks.

Cherry-picked intelligence. "Greeted as liberators." "Plan B is to make Plan A work." Caesar will only hear what is pleasing to Caesar.
We live in a Post-Truth America. The Neo-Cons have created an environment where truth not only does not matter, truth is outright impossible. If I don't like the facts, I'll invent my own facts was the apparent motto of the Bush White House and indeed the whole Conservative movement. And it seemed that the majority of Americans were okay with this. Could you, for example, have found ten people who agreed that WMDs were (or were not) discovered in Iraq? Could you have found ten people who agreed that Saddam Hussein was NOT responsible for the attacks of 9/11? When the administration itself was incapable of giving a straight answer to these questions, there was no way of establishing the truth or falsehood of any lunatic belief at that time. It was like watching a burglary in broad daylight, where none of the neighbors -- in fact, not even the homeowner being burgled -- was interested in calling the police.

And as Bush's cronies amble away into the sunset today, their pockets still bulging and jingling, I find myself wondering: "If a law is broken, but nobody cares to press charges, was a crime actually committed?"

All my life I've heard Baby Boomers bitching about Nixon, even after he was dead. I used to wish they'd just GET OVER IT, but now I understand their bitterness. It wasn't what Nixon did that infuriated them so much. It's what he got away with. Nixon was nudged out of office by a momentary gust of public disfavor over a botched burglary attempt -- not, say, a Congressional investigation into the bombing of Cambodia. There was never a thorough reckoning of the misdeeds of Nixon's White House, just as there will probably never be a full accounting of the perversions and swindles of Bush's presidency. To the majority of Americans, Bush will be that guy who invaded Iraq and wrecked the economy.Sad.

Raise a glass to yourselves for surviving the Bush Era.

And let's raise a second glass to those who didn't.

"What times the brother supposed to show up?"

2009-01-20T12:03:00.001-05:00

What am I gonna miss most?...the smiles, the laughs, the all around good times.

2009-01-20T10:11:00.012-05:00

"You work three jobs? - Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that." — Bush, to a struggling divorced mother of three in Omaha, Nebraska, Feb. 4, 2005

"Everybody digs hands"

"Salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted"

2009-01-19T20:34:00.002-05:00

FDA announces: Avoid peanut butter at all costs.

2009-01-17T19:14:00.003-05:00

WASHINGTON – Federal health authorities on Saturday urged consumers to avoid eating cookies, cakes, ice cream and other foods that contain peanut butter until authorities can learn more about a deadly outbreak of salmonella contamination.
Most peanut butter sold in jars at supermarkets appears to be safe, said Stephen Sundlof, head of the Food and Drug Administration's food safety center.."but we're just not fuckin' sure."

Golfer John Daly aka Alan Hale III arrested for D.U.I.

2009-01-17T19:07:00.004-05:00

The hothead, loudmouth, know it all asshole golfer says he will make it to the Obama inauguration this week - wants to be the first one to tee off.

American Idol is Back!

2009-01-17T18:57:00.002-05:00

Star Wars - retold (I so envy this chick) - Chewie is a deformed ewok

2009-01-17T18:44:00.002-05:00

Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it) from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo.">

"Gimme the Ledger presciption."

2009-01-17T01:02:00.005-05:00

According to AP, 'SpaceCamp' star and now former actor Joaquin Phoenix will be performing his first hip-hop show tonight at an unspecified club in Las Vegas. The gig will be the filmed by Phoenix’s brother in law - To Die For co-star, actor Casey Affleck. Affleck, that's Ben's brother, will turn Phoenix’s pursuit to become a hip-hop star into a feature-length documentary.The Hollywood Reporter says none other than P.Diddy, who was recently seen partying with Phoenix and also saying something like "yeah...you know how we do!....Obama...yadda yadda..Obama" or something like that on TV - will produce the actor’s forthcoming album.
In what was thought to be just a joke at the time but still kind of one now, the star of the 1987 film 'Russkies' actually attempted to rap during an impromptu concert last month in Culver City, California. Joaquin, looking like Val Kilmer as Jim Morrison during the recording of L.A. Woman, mumbles and slurs his way through his verses while rhyming the words “Boom” and “Room” over and over again. The MC told the stupefied crowd, “He ain’t done yet,” before Phoenix retook the mic to similar results. If this is all a prank, this is maybe just stupid...if it's real - it is really stupid. P.S. He will not be missed as an actor and yes, Andy Kaufman is missed and he really did wrestle women.

Karma.

2009-01-17T00:49:00.005-05:00

LONDON – Singer Boy George was sentenced to 15 months in jail on Friday after being convicted of falsely imprisoning a male escort by handcuffing him to a wall in his London apartment.
Judge David Radford said the 47-year-old former Culture Club frontman, whose real name is George O'Dowd, was guilty of "gratuitous violence."
O'Dowd's lawyer said his client and the escort had both behaved like "drug-crazed idiots" and that O'Dowd's substance abuse problems were a contributing factor.
The singer had been convicted in December of handcuffing Norwegian escort Audun Carlsen to a wall hook at his East London apartment. During the trial, prosecutors said Carlsen was held by O'Dowd for under an hour.
The singer denied the charge, saying he had restrained Carlsen with handcuffs while trying to figure out if his computer had been tampered with. Carlsen, 29, said he didn't touch the computer and that O'Dowd swung at him a number of times.

"Much bigger...The men who signed the Constitution were in nuthuggers."

2009-01-16T19:12:00.005-05:00

Jackson, Mississippi Mayor Frank Melton says that even though the city council voted against an ordinance making it unlawful for people to wear saggy pants he still intends to issue an executive order enforcing the dress code. The city council voted 4-2 against the ordinance, saying it was unconstitutional.

"I certainly respect the Constitution," Melton said, "but we have some issues that are much bigger than the Constitution." Much bigger!...Hilarious.
(by the way, take a look at the fold on this highsteppin' brother's handkerchief)

-20 = Bullshit!

2009-01-15T18:21:00.001-05:00

2008 - The Year In Pictures

2008-12-30T21:57:00.061-05:00

How do you get your foot in this door?

2008-12-23T12:06:00.003-05:00

This is the kinda of shit i get emailed daily.

2008-12-19T18:11:00.004-05:00

"I've abandoned free-market principles to save the free-market system." - 1 minute 40 sec in......."Holy Shit!..Going out like he came in"

2008-12-17T19:16:00.001-05:00

Showtime!

2008-12-12T18:09:00.000-05:00

"I liked it"

2008-12-10T18:14:00.004-05:00

Somewhere it's nice out and this is happening.

2008-12-04T18:24:00.002-05:00

Baxter and Gross share the same birthday - June 22, 1947....who knew this? What does it mean? What do I do with this information?

2008-12-03T22:18:00.005-05:00

I should have been told this at about age seven....or about one minute before I fucking die....but not now!

American and Virgin Airlines now with wireless service....aka the guy next to me has a hard on.

2008-11-25T18:09:00.001-05:00

Fart and Fedora.

2008-11-21T19:39:00.001-05:00

"I got the wheel now motherfuckers!"

2008-11-12T22:24:00.000-05:00

Gettin' it done.

2008-11-12T22:22:00.003-05:00

"He's a real sweet guy"

2008-11-12T22:21:00.000-05:00

Good Vibrations!

2008-11-12T22:17:00.001-05:00

SHOCKER: Richard Grieco announces..."I am retiring from acting"

2008-11-07T23:19:00.002-05:00

"Someday....

2008-11-04T08:49:00.000-05:00

Disabled....more like totally radical!

2008-10-31T16:28:00.001-04:00

"For when the shit hits the fan....kinda like come Tuesday"

2008-10-31T16:25:00.000-04:00

"You're down at George's....I'll be right down there!"

2008-10-25T18:03:00.002-04:00

Get yourself a McCain yard sign today.They're going fast!

2008-10-24T15:32:00.012-04:00

The purpose of religion is to stop the poor from murdering the rich - Napoleon

2008-10-17T21:02:00.004-04:00

Why is it that the GOP equate white,God fearing,true but not so true blue collar males with the everyman,and inturn the vote they feel they need? Today we see the real cynics,the Republican party,pandering to faith-addled fools to get them to vote for tax breaks favoring the top. It's the same game dating back to the Middle Ages with what was called the Divine Right of Kings.Religion!Who's still fucking disgusted? A show of hands?

Debate recap.The defining moments.

2008-10-17T00:42:00.002-04:00

One question:Where's Gould in all this?

2008-10-15T21:03:00.000-04:00

New reports show Obama "used to pal around with the cat guy". May have to answer for himself tonight.

2008-10-15T20:57:00.003-04:00

"What do ya think?" "I'm lovin' it"

2008-10-09T23:37:00.000-04:00

LET’S ALL NOT BE MEAN TO SARAH PALIN!

2008-10-09T22:42:00.002-04:00

I've been saying bad things about Sarah Palin before right now in the past ago. But that's only because I thought she was an unqualified, passive-aggressive, hypocritical cunt.However, I was hit over the head 11 times with an amber paperweight this morning. Then, seventeen minutes ago, I got my head trapped in a big plastic bag, and was not able to get any oxygen into my breath-hole for several minutes. And then I paid the mailman to give me a screwdriver lobotomy.And so now I see things different and also clearer than before back then.For first things, everyone who's laughing about her on the TV with Couric needs to understand that, when it comes to the country's money and bank outlook, we need to consider what Sarah said about jobs making and also the shoring up of our proud country and the mountains of glory and tradition that we, as a people, have forever held. And don't forget the health care which for the body of Americans as people and as a whole is critical. Do you remember the people who died in the towers?And to qualify more than Obama? Let me count on more than one hand! Obama went to smart-school Harvard only, which is shown by studies to be only a single school with a curriculum. Sarah spread her mind over five different colleges for more than that many years. Do you need a fancy school to know a thing or two about a thing or two? Ask a Democrat about the movie TRADING PLACES.But that's because Democrats are racists and also Republicans freed the blacks which they also don't want you to know. Now to bring into a finish, Sarah's foreign policy expertly. Obama spent years all over every part of the world except America with Muslims and terrorists. And where was Sarah? She was in America, knowing everything about our proud country and you can bet if foreign leaders come here she'll know tons and tons about our country, and will set them straight! And Obama does not wear a metal flag on his clothes, which is a signal for brown killers.And also the troops babies eagles 9/11.I type everything I do now and now I just boom-boomed in my sweatpants.

"Everybody just cool the fuck down!"

2008-10-09T22:34:00.000-04:00

All this political talk is gettin' in the way of my love for celebrity babies.

2008-10-08T19:19:00.005-04:00

"Press build up to the debate on the left,the actual debate on the right'

2008-10-08T19:06:00.001-04:00

"McCain just killed in the Poconos this past weekend...will do it again tonight say reports"

2008-10-07T20:54:00.004-04:00

"Framed and Guilty Again is a Krokus tune,right? Who's gonna find the real killers now?"

2008-10-07T20:39:00.005-04:00

More American influence.

2008-10-03T19:34:00.000-04:00

"I took some photos of people watching the debates last night"

2008-10-03T17:53:00.004-04:00

"Fuckin' Cheaters"

2008-10-03T17:52:00.000-04:00

"Just Biden' your time" (sorry about the photo of Don Adams)

2008-10-02T18:00:00.000-04:00

A place for your keys

2008-10-02T17:55:00.000-04:00

"Today John....Get up!"

2008-09-26T15:06:00.001-04:00

Henry Earl.1,333 arrests.1,106 since 1992.This guy should be a V.P. canidate.He's got plenty of law experience.

2008-09-26T13:25:00.005-04:00

from Wiki: Henry Earl,aka James Brown - After interrupting a live band in the South Limestone greenspace next to Lexington college radio WRFL, the band encouraged Henry to take the mic after he stated he would sing like James Brown. (1997)
aka Wild Wild West - Imitating the Will Smith Video, Henry would perform a shuffle dance while repeating the chorus of the song usually walking on Euclid and South Limestone street near the UK campus. (1998)

"It gives the people an idea of what you do"

2008-09-25T16:22:00.002-04:00

Someone make it stop.

2008-09-25T16:19:00.000-04:00

He fuckin' said what?...I'm takin' friday off and that's that!

2008-09-25T16:17:00.002-04:00

Battery!

2008-09-25T15:50:00.003-04:00

(AP News) A man arrested for driving under the influence in West Virginia got himself into a lot more trouble later at the police station.
Jose Cruz was pulled over Monday night on Route 60 in South Charleston for driving with his headlights off. He was subsequently arrested after failing a series of sobriety tests, according to WSAZ TV in Charleston.
While being fingerprinted, Cruz allegedly "lifted his leg and passed gas loudly on Ptlm. Parsons. The defendant then fanned the air with his hand in front of his rear onto" the cop. "The gas," the complaint notes, "was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Ptlm. Parsons." In addition to the DUI count, Cruz was also charged with battery on a police officer for the farting incident. In a TSG interview, Cruz said that while he "farted multiple times," it "wasn't directly in that cop's face." Asked if he fanned the fetid air toward the officer, Cruz admitted that he did, but said it was in retaliation for the cop insisting he take a breath test."I said, 'Here, put that in your Breathalyzer," he recalled. Cruz, who works as a boilermaker, said that he has been arrested more than a dozen times, including twice previously for drunk driving. After posting $500 bond, Cruz was released this morning from a Charleston jail where he had been held on the misdemeanor charges.

Greeks have more than faces for radio.

2008-09-23T23:52:00.000-04:00

The much sought after Sarah Palin "banned book" list has been released.

2008-09-11T23:39:00.019-04:00

Cats with wings now even tastier in China.

2008-08-29T22:06:00.001-04:00

Wolverine (aka that asshole from Top Chef) busted for a D.U.I.

2008-08-29T22:03:00.004-04:00

"Obama's gonna name a VP....and I can't wait"

2008-08-22T16:38:00.000-04:00

Riders on the Suit Storm.

2008-08-22T14:47:00.007-04:00

Fri Aug 22, Associated Press
SAN FRANCISCO - The end is near for a bitter legal dispute between the three surviving members of The Doors now that the California Supreme Court has refused to take up their case.
Keyboardist Ray Manzarek and guitarist Robby Krieger are to pay more than $5 million after they were found by lower courts to have improperly invoked The Doors' name and images during a 2003 concert tour. After the high court declined to hear their appeal on Aug. 13, they'll have to pay up to drummer John Densmore, the parents of the deceased lead singer Jim Morrison and the parents of Morrison's deceased wife, Pamela Courson, who died in 1974.
The case goes back to 2002, when Densmore declined an offer from the other two to go on a concert tour as The Doors. Densmore said he didn't object to Manzarek and Krieger touring and singing The Doors' songs, as long as they didn't call themselves The Doors, use the group's distinctive logo or any other Morrison-era imagery.
"You can't call yourselves The Doors because you can't have The Doors without Jim Morrison," Densmore said.
Densmore and the parents sued Manzarek and Krieger in 2003 after the two began touring the country with Ian Astbury and Perry Farrell= calling themselves The Doors of the 21st Century.
Densmore complained that the phrase "of the 21st Century" was often little more than fine print in advertisements and that the new band displayed Morrison's image dozens of times during concerts...."I mean Ian Asbury....c'mon...are you fuckin' kiddin' me? said Densmore.The tour grossed $8 million and netted $3.2 million, which went to the new band's company called Doors Touring, Inc. and none of which went to Densmore or the surviving parents.
In 2005, a judge ordered the new band to stop using "The Doors" in any form and ordered Manzarek and Krieger to pay Densmore and the parents a combined $3.2 million, plus $2 million in legal costs.
"It's really disappointing," said lawyer Mark Poster, who represented Manzarek and Krieger."I mean...Ray and Robby are pissed." He said the two pursued the appeal so vigorously because a judge had overruled a jury decision in awarding Densmore damages.
The dispute stems from a 1970 agreement signed by the four original band members, including Morrison, that any business deal would require an unanimous vote of all four members.The agreement was reached after Morrison and three others got into a "violent disagreement"...."a real bust up"...over using "Light my Fire" in a Buick television commercial, according to the appeals court's decision in May backing Densmore.
"While the three partners had agreed to the commercial, Morrison vehemently disagreed and the commercial was not done," the appeals court wrote.
Since Morrison's death in Paris in 1971, the remaining band members and the parents have say and veto power over business deals.
Seven years ago, for instance, General Motors offered the partnership $15 million to use "Light My Fire" to sell Cadillacs, and everyone but Densmore wanted to take the deal. Densmore also refused an endorsement deal offered by iPod maker Apple, for a reported "millions".
"Morrison had been adamant against doing commercials and Densmore wanted to honor Morrison's memory," the appeals court noted in its May ruling.
Manzarek and Krieger now call themselves Riders on the Storm or Riders on the Storm of the 21st Century and continue to perform Doors' songs live.

Fuck Batman!.......go rent this - "Backdraft 2:The Fire's Coming From Inside Your Marriage"

2008-08-20T22:10:00.002-04:00

Chicago area cat "Yoda"...just looking for a good time.

2008-08-20T18:49:00.003-04:00

"Fonzie statue unveiled in Milwaukee..loved by Henry Winkler,but considered inappropriate by many"

2008-08-20T18:45:00.011-04:00

"Oh Lordy Lordy.....before you book me look at my pockets"

2008-08-16T19:53:00.003-04:00

"T/C/B"

2008-08-16T19:40:00.003-04:00

Newswire - 8-15-08 - Former child star Danny Bonaduce was slashed across the chest and arm with a knife during a recent failed attempt to mug him.
The one-time Partridge Family star claims the incident happened while he was working out in a Los Angeles park.
The 49-year-old tells the National Enquirer, "These wild-eyed dudes walked up to me and my girlfriend and one of them whipped out a carpet knife and demanded money."
Bonaduce,also wild eyed and a martial arts expert, adds, "I'm tough, but I'm not invincible. I couldn't run because I was text messaging someone, so I decided to stand my ground. I said to the guy, "There are two kinds of guys who carry knives - the kind who aren't afraid to stab someone and the kind who don't have it in them but also like to get fucked in the ass - and I don't think you have it in you."
Bonaduce approached the man,took care of business - amazing on lookers,and then was attacked just before the thugs fled.
The star - who wasn't seriously hurt - adds, "The guys took off running, and I let them go because I was too tired after bangin' the one guy to go after them. Besides, I wasn't about to leave my girlfriend standing there by herself."

"everybody saw it"

2008-08-15T15:00:00.002-04:00

"Fingers"

2008-08-13T17:39:00.002-04:00

"bachelor party"

2008-08-13T17:33:00.001-04:00

"Old Style ass to face"

2008-08-13T17:32:00.000-04:00

Rockin'

2008-08-13T17:30:00.001-04:00

"It's a mash....so it's pretty good"

2008-08-13T17:29:00.001-04:00

"jump on board the Cherry Train"

2008-08-13T17:28:00.001-04:00

"meet ya at the Beaver Pleaser"

2008-08-13T17:27:00.000-04:00

"Soft like butter....it's leather"

2008-08-13T17:26:00.000-04:00

At your service.

2008-08-13T17:25:00.000-04:00

Pretty in pink.

2008-08-13T17:24:00.000-04:00

Pantsshitter.

2008-08-13T17:23:00.000-04:00

Indian...not the dot.

2008-08-13T17:22:00.000-04:00

Scratch and smell.

2008-08-13T17:21:00.000-04:00

Defining your generation.

2008-08-13T17:20:00.000-04:00

Trouble at home.

2008-08-13T17:19:00.000-04:00

Boredom.

2008-08-13T17:18:00.000-04:00

Summer

2008-08-13T17:16:00.000-04:00

"Yeah...I think I will have a slice"

2008-08-12T19:24:00.000-04:00

Entertainment.

2008-08-12T19:22:00.000-04:00

Cook Off!

2008-08-12T19:21:00.000-04:00

"Alright....hold still,this might hurt"

2008-08-12T19:19:00.000-04:00

"Bringin' the bottom"

2008-08-12T19:18:00.000-04:00

"Earnin' it"

2008-08-12T19:16:00.000-04:00

The 90's

2008-08-12T19:15:00.000-04:00